Dark-ness
What is the darkness within my mind ? What does it tell me ? I dont think i know the darkness within myself, but I feel it. I experience it. It is scary. It is selfish. It is harmful. It is fearful. It is hurtful. It is out of control. It is restless.
Why did i end up here ?
I am wondering if i allowed myself to be here or is it that i am forced to be here. It is a battle within me. Many times it has defeated me and i gave in. It has dominated my sense. It has dominated my will. It has dominated my soul. I fought hard against it for a period of time.
What is the darkness ? If i give way to it, it harms me without noticing it, and it indirectly harms people around me.
Today, has the darkness disappeared ? Or has it merely subdued deep within ? I feel stumped again. But i am trying to get back again with all the love and compassion around me. What if i lose this love and compassion a day, will it submerge once more ?
I hope not.
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Tired, Introspective, Concerned, Missing, Grieving, Loving, Boredom, Pensive, Fatigue, Weary and Agitated, Anxious, Dark and Broken, Zoned out, Melancholy, Annoyed, Restless, A little muddled, A bit groggy and sickly, In need of a shower, Vague sense of unease,Very very unsettled beyond anything, Tired at having been up all night, Exhausted, Terrified, Apprehension for the coming years, The desire for more time, Frustrated that I don't know myself as well as I think, Wondering what I want in life in 10 weeks, 10 months, 10 years,
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