What is the darkness within my mind ? What does it tell me ? I dont think i know the darkness within myself, but I feel it. I experience it. It is scary. It is selfish. It is harmful. It is fearful. It is hurtful. It is out of control. It is restless.

Why did i end up here ?

I am wondering if i allowed myself to be here or is it that i am forced to be here. It is a battle within me. Many times it has defeated me and i gave in. It has dominated my sense. It has dominated my will. It has dominated my soul. I fought hard against it for a period of time.

What is the darkness ? If i give way to it, it harms me without noticing it, and it indirectly harms people around me.

Today, has the darkness disappeared ? Or has it merely subdued deep within ? I feel stumped again. But i am trying to get back again with all the love and compassion around me. What if i lose this love and compassion a day, will it submerge once more ?

I hope not.